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Well ladies, it’s been a long time coming, but I’ve finally done it. Yes, I’ve created a step-by-step instruction manual for making boys fancy you. They said it couldn’t be done, but as someone who has dated half the men in Dublin, half the men in North Antrim, some Brits, and too many Americans, I…
Disclaimer: before we get started, I’d like to clarify that when I say “men” and “women” I’m referring to men who fancy women and women who fancy men. I know the headline is heteronormative af, I quoted directly from a landmark discussion featured in When Harry Met Sally, a triumph of romance, comedy, and cinema. Over the…
There I was, minding my own business, having a fag in Front Square in Trinity College Dublin, listening to Ariana Grande’s best song, Into You. As I basked in the glory of this bop, I pondered the song’s meaning. It seemed to me, and it still seems to me, that this song is unquestionably a sexy…
As you all know, I am a huge advocate of Tinder dating. As some of you may know, I have just finished college for the year and I’m back on my bullshit. This means one thing: I am dating full time. Yes, ladies, after months of producing mediocre, uninspiring essays, I am finally able to…
Well ladies, it’s time to discuss a controversial topic: weight. I usually steer clear of these things because I don’t feel qualified to explore such difficult subjects, but I’ve got some things to say. Over the last year, I’ve lost a fair amount of weight. I don’t know how much because I don’t weigh myself,…
Here’s the tea, ladies, dating in college is an absolute nightmare. I’ll never forget, at the tender age of 14, my sister sat me down and said, “Susie, you need to find your future husband in your second year of uni, and lock. Him. Down.” My sister was 20 at the time and had just…
It’s February, and you know what that means. That’s right, ladies, the days are getting longer, the slow march toward Spring is gaining momentum, and, importantly, cuffing season is over. This means one thing and one thing only: cancellation season is in full swing. As usual, everyone coupled up in October to battle the inevitable…
Ok ladies, let’s face facts. Resolutions are trash and don’t work. January is a fake month. It’s too dark and horrible, and we’re too broke and depressed to actually make any real improvements this month. I, for one, understand that February is the real New Year. On the first of January, we only get 7…
Your problems, my totally unqualified/unreasonable/potentially harmful advice
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